He's putting my daughter in the middle..

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Yesterday, 10:07 PM	? #1 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 340	H is not staying at house (separated),, yet he calls and talks to my 23 year old daughter every day.. I know he does this to know what I'm doing, where I am, etc..... So he texts me tonight and says " I know I said I wouldn't text, but I called Dana on her way to work to see how she was feeling (has been sick),, and I told her " my marriage is over",, and she said "I know"...............No response needed." So of course my response was " The only thing I'm going to respond with is that it's not right that you are putting her in the middle of this. If you want to know how she is doing,, then ask her and leave it at that, don't talk to her about "our" issues." So when my daughter called me,, she told me that he actually said " Things aren't getting any better" .. and that's when she said " I know"... He has a bad habit of changing people's words around,, pizzes me off...
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Today, 09:05 AM	? #3 (permalink)
Member ? Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Mousetown, Florida Posts: 425	Quote: H is not staying at house (separated),, yet he calls and talks to my 23 year old daughter every day.. I know he does this to know what I'm doing, where I am, etc..... So he texts me tonight and says " I know I said I wouldn't text, but I called Dana on her way to work to see how she was feeling (has been sick),, and I told her " my marriage is over",, and she said "I know"...............No response needed." So of course my response was " The only thing I'm going to respond with is that it's not right that you are putting her in the middle of this. If you want to know how she is doing,, then ask her and leave it at that, don't talk to her about "our" issues." So when my daughter called me,, she told me that he actually said " Things aren't getting any better" .. and that's when she said " I know"... He has a bad habit of changing people's words around,, pizzes me off... All too familiar with that "game". Only in my case, it's my DS (24, married and new father). DS lives close by, while DD (19) lives with Lieceratops, temporary arrangement hopefully. Since my disability has been settled, L has been trying, desperately to get the rundown about the figures and such. Is an exercise in futility on his part though. I won't disclose the details to DS for that very resaon. Made it clear to him why I'm not, just to remember "igonrance is bliss" and his dad has a talent for getting things out of people. Therefore L can't get info that DS doesn't have. I, likewise, have the means to do the same to L. Talk to DD often, but keep convo focused on her, what she's doing, etc. L keeps telling me to keep our business between us, not to involve the kids. But it's evident that HE does NOT practice anything he preaches. Sounds as if your DD is doing what she oughta. My DS doesn't tell me about those kind of calls, but he tells his wife and eventually I get advised. DS doesn't like being in the middle or possibly upsetting me. Sometimes, I want to just explode at L when I learn these things, but keep quiet as I don't want to further harm DS and DD's fragile relationships with their dad. He's damaging, almost to the brink of destruction, those relationships all by himself. Certainly doesn't need my help.
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